Interracial and Cross Cultural Dating of Generation Y

By

Heather Huston

English 191: Spring Section

Professor Roland Specht-Jarvis

Interracial and Cross Cultural Dating

Thesis: The trend of interracial dating among today’s teenagers is increasing at a steady rate. As many Americans struggle with racially charged issues from affirmative action to immigration, high school students have started a quiet revolution that could signal a big shift in the way the nation will come to look at race.

I. Introduction

A. History of Interracial Dating

B. Statistics of Interracial Dating Today

II. Family and Peer Reactions

A. Positive

B. Negative

III. Reasons For Interracial Dating

A. Physical Attraction

B. Trying to be Different

C. Rebellion

D. Curiosity

IV. Reasons Against Interracial Dating

A. Stereotypes

B. Fear of going against societal convention

V. Conclusion

Interracial romance has been an issue in the United States since the first English settlers established colonies during the seventeenth century. Over the years, views toward interracial relationships in America have changed greatly. The interracial dating trend among today’s teenagers is increasing at a steady rate (Grapes 49). However, there are still many biases facing Gen-Y youth who choose to date someone of another race. A look at the history of interracial romance in the United States will shed light on today’s attitudes.

In the 1600s, Maryland banned interracial relationships between whites and slaves due to the questions over whether the offspring would be considered black and property, or white and free. Many other states followed Maryland, instituting anti-miscegenation laws that banned interracial marriages and relationships. In 1691, Virginia outlawed interracial couples and labeled their children as “that abominable mixture and spurious issue (Grapes 6).” When slavery was abolished with the thirteenth amendment in 1865, southern states issued Black Codes that continued to prohibit relationships between whites and blacks. Many whites believed that Africans and Native Americans were inferior races and interbreeding would contaminate the white gene pool.

Even where interracial relationships weren’t outlawed, mixed couples could face serious consequences within their community. In the 1800s, a visitor from England to Buffalo, New York, described the plight of an interracial couple he met. “The wife (a white woman) was despised by the wives of white citizens, and both (the husband and wife) were shunned,” he reported. “White etiquette would not let him attend her at the theater box; they never ventured out together. If they did go out, it was usually after dark. On one occasion, the man was mobbed and nearly lost his life (Landau 3).”

Even decades later, white society seemed determined to prevent interracial romances in most instances. A variety of obstacles were used to prohibit these relationships. Many social scientists in the past focused on the supposed pathological aspects of the interracial relationship, and they assumed that anyone involved in such a relationship must be “disturbed” in some way. In one case, a young white woman’s grandmother had her placed in a mental institution after the young woman announced her engagement to an African American (Landau 5). When a young black man named Leroy Gardner enrolled in Bethel College in St. Paul, Minnesota, in 1943, he had to sign a formal agreement promising not to socialize with the white females on campus. Social scientists have observed many justifications for black-white relationships, such as the need to rebel against parents or society; a passion for the exotic or “forbidden fruit,” the blacks’ desire to get even with the dominant culture, or whites’ desire to atone for past racism (Majete 10).

In 1967, Loving v. Virginia cleared all legal barriers to interracial marriages and relationships. This legislation made it legal to marry interracially, but many people weren’t willing to accept these relationships. For instance, in 1994 a white principal named Hulond Humphries caused uproar at Teaneck High in Wedowee, Alabama that caught the attention of the national press and the U.S. Department of Justice. He had announced to an assembly of juniors and seniors that if any interracial couples attended prom, it would be canceled. This brought an argument from a mixed race student, and Humphries denounced her parents, stating they had made a “mistake” in having her. Humphries denied saying any such thing, reversed himself on the prom the next day, and was suspended for two weeks. The school board then reinstated him, and black parents as well as some whites were infuriated. The Justice Department came in and negotiated an agreement that removed Humphries to an administrative position and barred him from school grounds during school hours. For Humphries, race was a rigid, brittle issue. The students at Teaneck High, on the other hand, didn’t view race as an important factor when choosing a prom date, and felt their rights had been violated with Humphries’ statements on race (Shipler 116).

Today, as Americans continue to struggle with racially charged issues from affirmative action to immigration, high school students have started a quiet revolution that could signal a big shift in the way the nation will come to look at race. Generation Y may be the first generation to grow up without the heavy-hearted feelings about race relations of their predecessors. When interracial dating is addressed to people of Generation Y, it is evident that it is very much a non-issue. Most see it as just dating, and don’t think twice about the fact that their partner may be a different race than they are.

According to a 1997 USA Today/Gallup Poll of teenagers across the country, 57% who go out on dates say they’ve been out with someone of another race or ethnic group. This is a large increase. In 1980, just 17% said they had dated someone of another race.

Most of those interviewed in the poll say the heavy immigration of Hispanics and Asians has increased chances of meeting people from other racial and ethnic groups, so interracial dating has become far more common. Minority enrollment in public schools nationally has increased from 24% in 1976 to 35% in 1997. Schools are very diverse and have a wide variety of students. As a result, people are getting used to growing up with different races, and are feeling comfortable with it. The majority of teens view interracial dating as no big deal, and see it as “just dating.” Many have dated interracially, and if they haven’t, they say they wouldn’t have a problem doing so.

Also, in most cases today, parents aren’t an obstacle. A separate USA Today/Gallup Poll found 62% of parents of teens say that they would be “totally fine” if their children dated interracially. Reynolds Farley of New York’s Russel Sage Foundation, which sponsors social science research, says this does not surprise him. “The parents of these teens would be in their late 30s and early 40s,” he says. “They will have experienced some of the liberal attitudes from the civil rights revolution (49).

Parents of Generation Y youth are generally accepting of interracial relationships. Being born in the 1960s and 1970s, they have more liberal ideas than their own parents held. Many Gen-Y parents exhibit positive reactions to their child’s dating choices, and are thrilled when their teenager meets someone they care about. “There are families that very much value differences. In that environment, you can come home with a wide variety of people and each one is viewed as an individual (Bode 54).” They realize that if children are raised in a climate of tolerance, eventually it will lead to a society where race will no longer matter, and we will all form one race, the human race.

Some families may be hesitant of an interracial relationship at first, but will come to accept it when they see how serious the children are about the relationship. Also, families may be afraid of losing someone they love over differences in opinions on dating. Many adults today wish to help bridge the gap between the races in our society, so they learn to love and accept the differences of others.

However, other families have mixed feelings when it comes to interracial relationships. Diamonds in Interracial Dating and Marriage states that, “Some parents expect that their children will follow the dating models that they have set out. And often that model is one of sameness, not difference. For parents, seeing their offspring dating someone of the same race and ethnic background, the same religion, and same worldview feels most familiar and comfortable. Consequently, in our society, people tend to associate with, date, and marry within groups very similar to their own. Crossing racial lines remains a taboo for many.” Concludes Diamond, “All parents, motivated by love, concern, and a deep desire to protect [their child], push for a course of action that they believe will lead to the fewest complications (55).” Interracial relationships may seem complicated and troublesome to some families, and that is why they don’t want their children in that situation.

Negative reactions to interracial dating on the part of some parents may seem controlling and insensitive. Some may say they themselves aren’t against the dating; that they aren’t prejudiced. They may believe society isn’t ready, and it’s not a good idea to become involved in interracial relationships at this time. But if parents continue to believe this way society will never become ready. Negative thoughts about interracial dating will still be prevalent.

Parents, just like kids, seek peer approval. They feel pressure to have kids live right, go to the right school, date right, and eventually marry right (Bode 49). Parents may ask their child, “What will the neighbors and relatives think about this?” This could be the first in a series of escalating questions: “How could you do this to yourself? Don’t you have pride in your own culture? How could you reject your parents like this?” These are often questions parents ask when they have difficulty accepting an interracial relationship.

Despite a more general tolerance regarding interracial relationships, there can be severe family friction when a child insists on a relationship with someone from another race (Gibson 1). Some parents may do everything possible to end the relationship. They may openly state derogatory views. They may forbid their child to see the dating partner, and punish them if they do. Some couples try to keep their relationship a secret from their families in order to prevent arguments. This usually leads to more trouble, and may make the family angry and disappointed.

A good way to get parents to accept a dating partner of another race is for the teenager to bring the date home with a group of friends, and let the family get to know the person. Pointing out good qualities, and things that parents may approve of about the person will build a positive rapport. Getting parents to really become acquainted with the new boy/girlfriend before passing judgment is the key. Soon, parents may learn to accept a child’s dating partner based on the person’s character alone, and not based on their race.

Overall, studies prove that racial barriers are indeed coming down as students test interracial relationships for themselves (Knox 3). Increased individualism, tolerance for diversity, and greater minority enrollment in colleges and universities have resulted in more approving attitudes of college students toward interracial relationships.

Gregory Clark of Louisiana College in Lecompte, Louisiana, believes that, “People should start using the content of one’s character to find a date. Rejection on the basis of race is an unfair practice that deprives us of the opportunity to explore the personalities of people of other races. The more open we become to others, the more likely we are to find the ‘right’ match and eliminate prejudices and hostilities toward other ethnic groups (The Black Collegian).” Attitudes like Gregory’s are typical among most of today’s college students.

However, some students still don’t believe crossing racial lines is a good idea. They consider people involved in an interracial relationship to be selling out, or trying to achieve a higher social status by dating someone different. They believe that people should date within their own racial and ethnic groups in order to maintain a strong sense of community and belonging (Zook).

Name-calling, hate mail, and obscene phone calls may occur due to interracial dating. The greater the visual difference, the more the couple will be noticed and create societal ripples in a way that others don’t. Not only does the targeted couple have to deal with the normal stresses of a dating relationship, they also have to confront the results of challenging what much of society dictates as ‘normal’ and ‘right.’ This can go far beyond annoying a parent. Others, in and around the community, peers and public, may come down on the couple, too (Bode 67). “Instead of being a private relationship between two people, it becomes a public discussion of racial alliance or rejection (Korgen 58).”

What are the compelling factors that cause youth of different races to date each other? Most young adults (97%) claim physical attraction is the main reason they date interracially (Grapes 50). We all have our own internalized beliefs about beauty and who is attractive (Richardson 20). According to many, if the couple has things in common, race shouldn’t be an issue when deciding whom to date.

Other frequent reasons for interracial dating include curiosity (75%), trying to be different (54%), and rebellion (47%) (Grapes 50). Many teens are curious about others, and the only way to learn is to try dating individuals of different races for themselves. “It is nice to be with someone who has a whole different background and view on things,” says Karen Milch, a Caucasian freshman, dating a Jewish man born in Mexico whose family was originally from Syria (Ha 1). Rebellion against one’s parents or society isn’t as much of a factor as it once was; many teens date interracially simply for the attention factor alone.

Although surveys show overwhelming acceptance of the practice of dating interracially, 43% of teens who date still haven’t dated interracially, and 13% say they never would (Grapes 50).

Those teens hesitant to date interracially report any number of reasons to pollsters, most sounding the familiar themes of racial division: “I’ve been raised that it wasn’t right;” “You should stick with people of your own kind;” “Because you receive so much grief from society, and it’s not worth it;” “I wouldn’t want to marry them (Jet, Oct. 1995).”

Many are afraid of what others may think or say. People tend to look at others differently if they date people of other races. Stereotypes and generalizations are common, as one race may be seen with negative characteristics or to perform inadequately. Some individuals may not accept interracial dating due to a desire to maintain solidarity within an ethnic community. They see it as a source of strength and unity, and their sense of community would be shattered if someone dated interracially.

Interracial relationships have been in the United States since the earliest years. American’s views of dating interracially have changed drastically through the decades. The interracial dating trend among today’s teenagers is increasing at a steady rate (Grapes 49) and will continue to do so as people become aware of the uniqueness and differences of people of other races. Attitudes toward interracial relationships have improved over the years, and Generation Y may be the first generation to grow up without the heavy-hearted feelings about race relations of their predecessors. Today’s youth is growing and becoming very diverse, which is bringing about better relations between races than ever before.

Bibliography

Bode, Janet. Different Worlds. New York: Franklin Watts, 1989.

Gibson, Valerie. “Race and Romance.” The Calgary Sun 01 Dec. 2000: 51.

Grapes, Bryan J. Interracial Relationships. Canada: Wadsworth, 1998.

Ha, Christine. “Interracial Couples Thrive at Stanford U.” The Stanford Daily 30 Nov. 2000: 9-12.

“Interracial Dating: Yes or No?” The Black Collegian Mar-Apr. 1993: 31-34.

Kivel, Paul. Uprooting Racism. BC: New Society Publishers, 1996.

Knox, David. “Interracial Dating Attitudes Among College Students.” College Student Journal 34 (2000): 69.

Kohn, Howard. We Had A Dream: A Tale of the Struggle for Integration in America. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1998.

Korgen, Kathleen. From Black to Biracial: Transforming Racial Identity Among Americans. Connecticut: Praeger, 1998.

Landau, Elaine. Interracial Dating and Marriage. New York: Julian Messner, 1993.

McLemore and Romo. Racial and Ethnic Relations In America. 5^th ed. New Jersey: Prentice Hall, 2000.

“More Than Half of Teens Who Date Have Dated Interracially: Study.” Jet Nov. 1997: 32.

“New Survey Shows Attitudes More Open Toward Interracial Relationships.” Jet Oct. 1995: 22.

Richardson, Brenda. Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner: Celebrating Interethnic, Interfaith, and Interracial Relationships. California: Wildcat Canyon Press, 2000.

Rothman, Robert. Inequality and Stratification. 3^rd ed. Massachusetts: Allyn and Bacon, 1998.

Shipler, David. A Country of Strangers: Blacks and Whites in America. New York: Random House, 1997.

Thomas, Richard. Understanding Interracial Unity. California: Sage Productions, 1996.

“Why More Black Women are Dating White Men.” Jet Oct. 1997: 12-14.

Zook, S.F. “UC-Davis Students Discuss Interracial Relationships.” The California Aggie 01 Dec. 2000: 8.