Bedford, Part IV Word Choice, 16-17-18 group presentations, see also Diction(1); visit to the Write Place in 51B at 6PM, exchange 2nd version of Story in a box with classmates and review their story as their editor for next week, 9/8/09.

eliminate redundancies

repetition of words

cut empty or inflated phrases

Simplify the structure

Reduce clauses to phrases

17-choose appropriate language

Stay away from jargon

Avoid pretentious language (euphemisms)

obsolete/invented words+slang expressions (c+d together)

Level of formality

Sexist language

offensive language

Students presented topics in groups of 2-3 persons and used some of their own examples.

Five class members read their stories-in-a-box, many stories reflect the home environment of the writers. We may want to expand our view into other parts of the world and become familiar with other cultures and living conditions to broaden the scope of our writing.

(1) "Your diction is simply your choice of words. There is no single, correct diction in the English language; instead, you choose different words or phrases for different contexts:

To a friend
"a screw-up"
To a child
"a mistake"
To the police
"an accident"
To an employer
"an oversight"

All of these expressions mean the same thing -- that is, they have the same denotation -- but you would not likely switch one for the other in any of these three situations: a police officer or employer would take "screw-up" as an insult, while your friends at the bar after a hockey game would take "oversight" as an affectation."

Megginson http://www.writingcentre.uottawa.ca/
hypergrammar/diction.html (8/22/2009)

Study Clear Sentences, part III, pages 145-204 in the Handbook and be prepared to relate any part to the class, if asked. Review http://www.writingcentre.uottawa.ca/
hypergrammar/bldsent.html; edit the paper you received from one classmate for next week.

Discuss Part III, group work and group presentations; Discuss the topic of "Clear Sentences" and transition into Part 5, Grammatical Sentences (p. 237-334) in the Handbook.

Homework for next week, 9/15: 1. study p. 237-334, pick two subjects to present and be prepared to present it alone to class.

2. Ten questions you might ask an international student. On paper, 26 copies for all in class. An electronic copy to monitor@stcloudstate.edu. Your name on the paper and the email -subject line: en191f09sec21plus name-- should be second nature by now.

Group 1: p. 147-151 in our Bedford Handbook; and in the HyperGrammar the topic on

Diction

Group 2: p. 152-162 in our Bedford Handbook; and in the HyperGrammar the topic on

Building Phrases

Group 3: p. 163-178 in our Bedford Handbook; and in the HyperGrammar the topic on

Building Sentences

Group 4:p. 185-204 in our Bedford Handbook; and in the HyperGrammar the topic on Writing Paragraphs

Group 5: LEO I want to know more about grammar and the rules.

How can I tell when I have written a sentence, not a fragment? * My teacher says I use "sentence fragments." * I'd like help finding the subjects and verbs of my sentences. * How can I check my papers for subject/verb agreement? * My teacher says I need to work on noun/pronoun agreement.

Read the sources, make an outline, distribute jobs and roles, establish a management role for 1. a group manager, 2. two group researchers 3. a group presenter 4. a group historian (record keeper), discuss a presentation plan, present in 6-7 minutes and be sure to engage your audience. Be funny if you have to.

Write a paragraph (6-7 sentences) about the topic:
Why people across the globe find communicating outside their own community difficult

Then write a paragraph about the topic:
Languages identify unique cultural communities

Then write a paragraph about the topic:
American high schools make second language learning mandatory but have too few instructors to teach classes (if you are an international student, write about your high school in your country of origin).

Then write a paragraph about the topic:
How learning and knowing another language changed my thinking.

Exchange papers with other groups. Group one exchanges with group four, two with eight, three with six, five with seven

Group members #21:

1. Brad H, Hannah, Nicolas HR

2. Lu Wang, Ryan (2)

3. Sneha, Chris B., Zhichau D.

4. Galkhuu G, Melanie, Mohammed

5. Karla A, Mike C, Wei Zhang

6. Vishal, Kevin Harty, Kaye L.

7. Maria, Nathan A, Sisay

8. Margaret, Kevin Howard (2)

Group members' to-do:

Each group writes one group paper on the topic "Global communications". Use all four paragraphs collected from three classmates, create an introduction and a conclusion as well as the necessary transitions between these elements. You use the paragraphs received as a resource only. That means you may disagree with them, but you must reference them, too.

Be sure not to use any paragraphs written by group members in your own group. Exchanges of papers should have provided every group with out-of-group text input.

Each group will write one paper, send one version to monitor@stcloudstate.edu by next Tuesday noon (9/22), and have at least three paper copies ready during class time. The subject line should contain en191f09section21-group paper and all three (in one case two) names.

Homework: Prepare for next class - Citations, Works Cited Page, http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/#citesanddocs

Bedford Handbook Part x, p. 527-585

Start blogging to record your work on interviews, and the final project. When establishing a blog, be sure to use the following convention for naming: the name of your new blog needs to start with en191s21+First name+First initial of your last name. In permissions, be sure to allow all in class, and me, reading privileges, or keep the blog public.

Sample: My own blog would be called
en191s21Roland-S

The hub on blogger that I establishhed today is

http://en191f09s21.blogspot.com/

We will explore how to use this new environment most productively, as things progress. See you in class.

Global Comm-IIIIIIIII-Group members #21:

-IIIIIIIII--IIIIIIIII--IIIIIIIII-(for the Handbook presentation on Oct 6)
1.-paper Brad H, Hannah, Nicolas HR   pp. 530-540
2.-paper Lu Wang, Ryan,                            pp. 540-550
3.-paper Sneha, Chris B., Zhichau D.     pp.550-560
4.-paper Galkhuu G, Melanie, Mohammed      pp. 560-570
5.-paper Karla A, Mike C, Wei Zhang    pp. 570-580
6.-paper Vishal, Kevin Harty, Kaye L.   pp. 580-586
7.-paper Maria, Nathan A, Sisay    pp. 587-…
8.-paper Margaret, Kevin Howard, Madelyn, Sarah     pp. 592-…

Interview samples 1 2 3

http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=4019916770671002536
http://mail.google.com/mail/?zx=1qpybi25fja3g&shva=1#inbox
http://en191s21wei-z.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21mohammed-d.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21maddy-t.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21nathan-a.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21lu-w.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21karla-a.blogspot.com/
http://eng191s21galkhuu-g.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21chris-b.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21kevin-r-h.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21vishal-g.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21brad-h.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21sisay-g.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21kaye-l.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21nicolas-h.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21hannah-m.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21zhichaod.blogspot.com/
http://eng191s21maria-w.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21sarah-n.blogspot.com/?zx=caceebe081cb5f0
http://en191s21kevin-l-h.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21melanie-f.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21ryan-k.blogspot.com/
http://en191s21mike-c.blogspot.com/

http://en191s21sneha-s.blogspot.com/

Oct 6, 2009

Go to the core blog http://en191f09s21.blogspot.com/ and make yourself a follower.

Read recent posts.

Read all student posts and comment on the objectives. You can access student blogs from the core blog http://en191f09s21.blogspot.com/

Prepare the presentation by pasting the flow of presentation points into the blog.

What is needed for an interview?

-an interviewee who is a foreign student

-an agreed upon time for the interview (not to exceed one hour)

-a recorder, a script with objectives and questions

-a quiet place to conduct the interview

-an opportunity to allow the interviewee to ask questions, also

-a transcript of the entire interview that you write up as you hear it on the tape your recorded, verbatim

-an edited version of the verbatim transcript that edits errors, mistakes, and incomplete elements. Remain true to the intent of your interviewee.

-a report of the process to this point: how did you achieve the points above in each case? Your report will be written in the first person, and recount your steps, your impressions, and your evaluation or conclusion of the interview process.

You will be conducting three interviews. You need to write reports on two, and transcribe two. You may drop the weakest interview.

1. Sample text for review and correction:

What could be the title?

What might the assignment have been?

Is there a topic statement early on, are there transitions?

How is the progression of the argument?

Does the student make valid points that convince you?

 Kinda Ztudent, St. Cloud/MN 10-15-2007
 
English is the second language to many foreign students. They are not much familiar with the grammatical errors because they use this language occasionally. In some countries, English language is just one of core subject and in other countries there is no obligation as such. Foreign students depend on clear, simple, and concise writing style because the foundation of their English language is very fragile.
                        Everyone takes some time in order to be familiar with the new environment. US students are familiar with the language since childhood. But, in context to foreign student, they don’t know a lot of words. They are always wondering with new words in and outside the university. They need some time and effort to be familiarized with the culture and language of the United States.
            When students first come to United States, they have to cope with completely new environment. The way of teaching, language is completely different from their home country. Their writing style is based on the knowledge and experience they have gained in their country. The writing style they have mastered is not sufficient for successfully completing college education over here. My personal experience was also not so good. It was also hard for me to write over here as the level of education was completely different from my home country. I don’t have to write pages of essay and paragraph in my class in Nepal. Only English major were supposed to ready bulky English books and write big essay. School also does not emphasize to build up the English vocabulary and write effectively.
            Furthermore, resources also plays big role in for writing process. Many foreign students don’t have access to resources to build up writing skills. Therefore, it is not surprising that foreign students depend on a clear, simple, and concise writing style, when they first attend an “American college”.

2. Errors for review:

Propose corrections or improvements for the following  sentences.
 
 
 1  In an article that appeared on USA today done by Patrick Welsh an English teacher at T.C Williams High School in Alexandria,Va, he says that students who have come from other countries often aced tests than the native speakers.
 
2 Even in the event that a student may come from a neighboring country (Canada) or a coupled English speaking country (Australia), the cultural differences and difference in writing style, speech and grammar may be so astronomically different that it can compromise the international student’s academic reports.
 
3 It gets rather difficult to put newly absorbed ideas into words, let alone explain them in complex words. Keeping it simple makes it easier to put ideas forward so as to get understood without making a fool of oneself.  
 
4  I believe many international students that come here do not know about some of our crazy rules we have.
 
5 Writing is a best way to communicate, and oftentimes the only way to get our message across.
 
6 Like most languages, English, has many slang words as well as regional diction. 
 
7  One important thing to remember about there writing that they will most likely do repeatedly is to repeat important words and phrases to help keep their point clear and concise.
  
 
8 The English language is one of the most challenging languages to learn.
 
9 Every foreign students are not good enough to understand English completely.
 
 
10 ESL students work up to writing and understanding fluent English, but when they first attend an American college it is helpful to eliminate the burdens caused by excessive details and stick to the basics.
 
 
11 English being the second language, it is not easy for foreign students like me to write in the sophisticated style.
 
12 The term foreign students itself defines that for them English is the secondary language
 
13 US students are familiar with the language since childhood.
 
14 Usually students of United States has  easy access to the resource for researching and writing than foreign students who have to depend mostly on teachers and handful of the books available there to research and get enough knowledge to write about the subject matter.
 
15 When writing it is important to form a style and a sense of understanding but when learning a good tool is to be clear, simple and concise.
 
16 When using long and complex sentences, their might be errors and jargons and it might be difficult for the teacher to understand it properly.

3. Sample text for review and correction:

A. Forren Ztudent, St. Cloud/MN 10-15-2007

Why foreign students depend on a clear simple & concise writing style, when they first attend an American college
 
 
How do you exactly acquire good writing skill? Bill Reed for example said “If you want to write well… read, read and then read some more. Read good writing, read bad writing. Learn to know the difference. Note for simplicity of style: noun, verb, object; noun, verb, object. It worked for Hemingway, who often said that his ultimate goal was to create the perfect sentence. Read some Hemingway, and not just his novels, but some of his early newspaper writing. There’s never been better news and feature writing, ever. When you read the works of these and other fine writers, notice the simplicity of their language and how they vary their sentence structure and length. Some sentences number two or three words; other run an entire paragraph. There are countless tips on writing well, but I leave you this one: read first and then write.”
           
            Being an International student, English is not my mother tongue. I had learned how to read and write English in school. We were taught grammar and the correct way to write English language. When I came to SCSU, my previous English professor told us that some of the International students essay was better than the native speakers. The reason she told us was that the native speakers are used to talking in English and hence they tend to write letters and essays in a very informal manner. But in the case of International students they were taught how to write specifically. If it should be formal or informal and how and where to use the right words.
 
            In an article that appeared on USA today done by Patrick Welsh an English teacher at T.C Williams High School in Alexandria,Va, he says that students who have come from other countries often aced tests than the native speakers.
           
            In my school we had to read chapters and write a summary on it. We were taught how to summarize the whole chapter into a paragraph and that everything that is relevant is included in it.  This is probably the reason why International students depend on a clear, simple and concise style of writing.

Copy the text into your wordprocessing program, save as a new file en191f09s21Ztudent paper review, then:

-correct mistakes

- verify sources and citations

-write a brief response to the student outlining the problems you found

The purpose of the report:

Describe the preparations, execution, postproduction, observations and lessons learned from an interview with international students, and produce the transcript of the conversation as part of the two reports that will be graded. That means that you need to write reports for all three interviews. Only two of them will also contain the transcript. The one without should indicate why you chose not to transcribe the interview.

1. Preparations made (questions, objectives, locations, technology, etc.) (1/2 page)

2. How did you approach people, how did you secure three for interviews? (1/2 page)

3. When, where, and how did you conduct the interview? (1/2 page)

4. Whom did you interview, provide an abstract of the interviewee's biography (1/2 page)

5. Describe the interview process from your vantage point. Was there any part that impressed you, moved you, gave pause to you? (1 page)

6. Provide a short report about the country and culture of your interviewee (1 1/2 pages)

7. Attach the transcript, create a first page with your name, class, interviewee's name, and her or his country of origin, as well as the interview date.

8. Post the entire report on your blog.

9. If you want to include the audio portion, you will get extra credit. In that case, burn a CD or DVD for me and include report and .wav files.

Your first interview report is due on October 27 in your blog and on paper/CD to me. Bring it to class next week. The last interview is due two weeks later on November 10, 2009 at 5PM when class starts.